Setting boundaries is an important part of establishing one’s identity and is a crucial aspect of mental health and well-being. Boundaries can be physical or emotional. Life has a way of bringing people and things into your world that test your self identity and mental Health. It is important to set boundaries so you can protect your sanity and handle relationships effectively. Healthy boundaries are those boundaries that are set to make sure mentally and emotionally, you are stable.
Every year, I experience a theme of life lessons. My theme for 2019 has been “Boundaries” from things that didn’t serve God’s purpose in my life. Breaking off habits, and recurring cycles in relationships. Breaking off relationships that are self serving and one sided. I’m going to be sharing How To Create Healthy Boundaries in your relationships from family, friends and romantic partners, so you can focus on things that bring you joy, love, fulfillment and peace. When you honor your boundaries you are showing love to yourself and able to focus on your greater purpose.
How To Set Healthy Boundaries In Relationships
1) Honor how you feel – Healthy boundaries is important act of self-care. That’s because the in work in our personal relationships can sometimes lead to poor boundaries which lead to resentment, anger, and burnout. Be gentle with yourself and heal the best way you can.
2) Identify what boundary has been crossed – Communicate what you will and will not tolerate. If the people around you are always doing or saying things that frustrate you to your core, you have to put your foot down. People will never know that what they’re doing is unacceptable if you never tell them. Be that person who speaks up when people are behaving in a way that makes you feel inferior or unappreciated. If something doesn’t feel right to you, you should make every effort to avoid it.
3) Decide what needs to be said and done – Address your concerns and if there are no changes, leave and cut contact with the individuals.
4) Set the boundary – Be direct and firm with your answer. Don’t let people talk you into or out of things. You can still be kind yet firm at the same time. Your family, friends or romantic partner might be bummed that you won’t make it, but they should be able to get over it and respect your decision.
5) Accept the consequences of setting the boundary – You can’t change others but you can change yourself. Hopefully, if these individuals truly love you, they would respect and honor your triggers and boundaries. Seeing you move forward may motivate others to look inward and change.
6) Move on – Setting boundaries can be challenging and confusing but your gut instinct is usually right. You know the difference between excitement and dread. Use that instinct help you make decisions. Don’t feel like you need to say yes to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.
Setting healthy boundaries is about learning how to show up in an authentic way. Setting boundaries is not easy for someone who struggles with codependency. If you grew up in a toxic home, you may find it nearly impossible to speak up for yourself, honor your feelings, and to know how and when it is necessary to set boundaries. Learning to set boundaries can help you improve the quality of your relationships, improve your self-confidence and help you heal from codependency.
What has been your life lesson theme this year?
As we are entering 2020 how are you honoring yourself?
With Love Always,
Ife
