Ever have a person make you question your feelings, emotions and make it seem like it didn’t happen? Ever have a person feign a lack of understanding, refuse to listen or acknowledge and declines to share emotions? Ever have a person make it seem like you are crazy and play off your concerns?
This is called GASLIGHTING
October is #EmptionalIntelligenceMonth it is important to take of our emotional health and set boundaries around those who don’t respect your emotions, feelings and concerns.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic in which a person uses to gain power and control by planting seeds of uncertainty that leads you to question your own reality.
You could experience gaslighting from a family member, friend, coworker or partner. It is painful because it is usually harmless and the victim usually doesn’t have a way to prove it. Gaslighters are narcissistic, manipulative, and insecure individuals who have a need to control their surroundings. It’s an unhealthy form of codependency. I’m going to be sharing 6 ways to deal with a Gaslighter.
6 Ways To Deal With A Gaslighter
- Boundaries – You need to detach from the gaslighter. Love them from afar. Set a distance with gaslighter if they refuse to acknowledge your emotions and show active actions to correct it. No one likes to be ignored especially a narcissistic. They crave attention. So when you focus on yourself and set healthy boundaries. They won’t have access to you.
- Focus on what you know is true – Your feelings are valid and real! Focus on them and do not let anyone take over the reality of them unless they are willing to address them.
- Keep a emotional journal or take photos – keeping an emotional journal helps keep a record of the emotions and not have them in your head. Usually a gaslighter has a continuous pattern of abusing emotions. You can always reference them. Even better if you can take videos or pictures that another way to take down the gaslighter because you have proof.
- Talk To People You Trust – Talk to someone or a therapist who is understanding so you can get the emotions off your mind.
- Continue To Ask the Gaslighter the same Questions – If you decide to confront the gaslighter, keep asking the same questions even if they dismiss you or try to make seem like its crazy. Keep repeating the same questions until they answer.
- Pray – Pray and meditate about the situation to God. He will usually handle it better than you can.
Gaslighters usually have enablers around them and sometimes turn the closest people around you into their allies. So they can isolate you. Try to remove yourself totally as they will end up outing themselves. They thrive off abusing helpless individuals and see you as a target. So it is important to set a distance away from the Gaslighter until they acknowledge the events and take accountability for it.
My personal experience with gaslighting was with my sister-in-law! I had no idea then that gaslighting had a name until I came across a few people sharing their personal stories. I had completely cut her and her family off which has helped me clear away the toxic energy and focus on my own journey. Praying has also helped me heal internally. I’m thankful for the personal relationship I have with God. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and bullying.
The best way to handle a gaslighter is to remove yourself from that environment and surround yourself with healthy people. It’s important to set healthy boundaries when dealing with manipulative and emotional abusive individuals. Just as we take care of our physical health, it is even more important that we take care of our emotional health which is tied to our mental health.
Have you ever experienced Gaslighting?
#EmotionalAwareness #EmotionalIntelligence #MentalHealth
With Love Always,
Ife
